i see you driving round town with the girl i love

Been out of my mind for a while.

Some would argue a long while.

I have lived in my apartment for 6 days.

I have lived in this city for 3 months, tomorrow.

Weird.  But good.  In a weird "i'm not happy, but i am am" sort of way.

I listen to Cee Lo Green's song "F**k You" on repeat.  It's good. I promise.

XO.

Happy Birthday.

It's my beau's mom's 70th birthday today.

She passed away two weeks ago.  Watching his heart break has been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with.

I want to make all his pain go away.  I can't. 

I'm a control freak.

I'm a self centered control freak.

I need to celebrate life more often.  The little things.  Time with people.  Walking around.  Waking up.  Sleeping.  Eating.  Loving.  Breathing.  Hearing.  Talking.  Making mistakes...

We each have such a beautiful, perfectly imperfect existence.  Like a delicate candle flame, we can be snuffed out..gone in an instant.  All that's left are the smokey vapors swirling in the air.  But until then, we have that candle's fire, that burns and burns, brighter and brighter.  Our life.  Its pretty dang stunning.

XO.

A Gift For Melody Anne

It's been a while.

A lot has happened.

I feel like I did when I was a kid.  When I hadn't prayed in a long time, I would feel bad for ignoring God, but too ashamed to talk to him about it...so I would stay away.

I'll start back slowly.

I listened to this song on repeat for about two hours:

I want to get back



I want to get square


I want to get back all the hopes and the dreams that I had


That the good lord above us can't spare


Like that actor said I don't want to lose heart


I don't want to get beat beat down by the big big world


Or quit before I even start






Lord I just want my life to be true


And I just want my heart to be true


And I just want my words to be true


I want my soul to feel brand new






I want to hold hands


And I want make love


I want to keep running all day and all night


Even when my mind tells my body that's enough






And I want to stand up and I want to stand tall


If I ever have a son, if I ever have a daughter


I don't want to tell them that I didn't give my all






And I just want my life to be true


I just want my heart to be true


I just want my words to be true


I want my soul to feel brand brand new


Like a fresh coat of paint


We can make it anything but blue


Anything but blue






Now when your dreams start saying I can't come true


You'd be better off without me


Don't let em go, don't let em go






I don't want to go broke, not from one bad deal


I don't want to be up all night crying in my hands


For a girl that isn't even real






Lord I just want my life to be true


And I just want my heart to be true


And I just want my words to be true


And I just want my song to be true


And I just want my heart to be true


And I just want my life to be true


And I just want my words to be true


And I just want my heart to be true


And I just want my life to be true


And I just want my song to be true


And I just want my life to be true


I want my soul to feel brand new


I want my soul to feel brand new


XO.

Life is good.

SO....FL is awesome.  I am getting paid to lay by the roof top pool and drink pina coladas...well we did do two shows yesterday...

We are in Punta Gorda.  It is beautiful.  Our hotel is swanky and posh.  I feel like a sophisticated (spoiled lady).  Its funny to think only a couple of weeks ago we were stranded on the side of the road in the snow.  A day like today makes touring pretty darn desirable. 

Much has happened since our little miracle Emma appeared.  We had a couple of shows in Ohio, then headed back south to North Carolina.  Did two shows at East Carolina University.  Then headed to Spartanburg for a couple of days.  Spartanburg was a treat because my Beau and two of my loveliest friends came to visit!  I was also surprised by my friend Amy who came to the show!  I am one lucky gal.  We went to this Spartanburg dive called The Beacon.  They are known for great food and this thing called the pig's dinner.  It consists of about 20 scoops of icecream, piled high with pineapple and strawberry topping, covered (and I mean TOTALLY covered) in whipped cream.  We ate this.  It was awesome.

The time with my CLT friends and my beau was much needed and put an extra spring in my step.  We got to Orange Park, FL Tuesday.  I was in for another treat...my dear friend from high school lives in Jacksonville so we got together for a lovely dinner in her neighborhood.  Oh so refreshing! 

I drove us the 5 hours to Punta Gorda on Thursday.  FL drivers are the worst.  They either sit in the left lane going about 10 miles under the speed limit or pass you in the right lane going 100 mph.  Sheesh.  But we got to our swanky hotel safe and sound.  Oh...we also all got our own rooms.  The front desk made a mistake...too bad for us ;) 

Yesterday was a productive day.  We had two (very good) shows in the morning...I made an audition video for a theatre out in Washington State...edited it, sent it...sat poolside...gussied up for a Sarasota dinner adventure...ended up at the Daiquiri Deck in Siesta Key...reminded my of my sweet Grandma...fell asleep in the van on the way back.  It was a good day.

Today consisted of NOTHING but lazing by the pool and getting (too much) sun.  I feel great.  Really.

West Palm Beach tomorrow...my life just SUCKS.  :)

XO.

life is beautiful.

I think my Pandora radio station can read my mind.  It must be run by witches.  Good ones. 

Life is weird.  One instant a baby is born screaming into this world.  That same instant someone is born screaming into the next world.  Some people work and work and work and get nothing.  Some people do nothing and get everything.  Existing can be so easy sometimes.  Other times its a struggle to lift your head.  We can be happy, sad, disgusted, warped, crazy, sick, joyous, pissed, tired, hungry, drunk, sober, annoyed, devastated, ugly, generous, in love, hateful, stupid, jealous, intimidated, inspired, uplifted, infatuated, self-conscious, confident, full of it, excited...any of it.  Any moment.  A million at a time.  Why are some people sad?  Why do some people live until they are 99 and others go before they get a chance to do a damn thing?  The other day I saw a head line that said, "Afghan Civilian Deaths Double".  I worry about my next job.  Some people worry about stepping outside of their houses.


Music is good.  Babies are good.  Laughter is good.  Spring is good.  Flowers are good.  Love is good.  Art is good.  Color is good.  Hot showers are good.  Cold beer is good.  Making mistakes is good.  Learning from them is better.  Life is weird.

And beautiful.  Each of us is living a play.  It's the most important piece of art that we work on.

XO.

Ohio

Miss Emma

SO...

The last week as been IN-TEEEEEEEEEEENSE.  I was last spotted in Memphis, I believe.  Well, I suppose the last things I left you with were some pictures with cryptic descriptions...I am tired...bare with me.  OK...So Memphis last Wednesday (the Orpheum was the BOMB fyi) and after my show I flew to IN to visit Melis, Cam and ConCon for a couple days before meeting my tour fam in OH.  Meleese was 8 1/2 months preggo so I thought a little visit before things got crazy would be fun for all.  I stayed with Con man Thurs. afternoon while Melis went to a routine Doctor's appt.  She walked in the door and said, "Um...the Dr. said I could have this baby in the next 24 hours..."  Welp...my little heart started ticking so fast it was like to burst from my chest.  We both sprang into action...laundering baby clothes...changing sheets...packing hospital bags...putting together the baby bed...And oh yeah, she was having contractions this whole TIME.  By the evening time her contractions were close enough together that she and Cam decided it was time to head to the hospital.  WHAT?!?!?!  I couldn't believe it.  I had been joking with my tour fam about how I was gonna tell Melis to jump around and dump her little one out early...I had no idea my voodoo would really work...actually...now that I think about it...I did mess around with a voodoo doll on Beale street...hmmm.  But, luckily I was there and was able to be the Con man's play thing for the next couple of days.  After a fitful night's sleep (?) I got a call around 7:14 AM from a tired sounding Cam saying that Melis wanted me to come over to the hospital...that it was imminent!  AH!  I leapt from the bed, threw on yesterday's dirty clothes and started to brush my teeth when I heard the creak of a door knob and a sweet little voice say "Caro-loin?"  I couldn't leave the poor little guy in a lurch, so I got him changed, snacked and T.Ved...handed the reigns over to Poopa and headed to the hospital.  I walked into the delivery room to the sweetest sight my 25 year old eyes had ever seen.  A tearful mommy and daddy staring at the smallest, most helpless, sweetest little lump of girly love I had ever seen...about 15 minutes old.  It was love at first sight ya'll.  I was 'bout to burst!  I kissed my tired, glowing sister on the head and gawked at her and her sweetness for about 45 minutes, until some grandparents started arriving.  I drove back filled with sleepiness and a lump of love in my chest and relayed my morning to my Dad (Poopa) and the Con man.  Cam eventually picked Con up to go meet his new sister (Emma Lee Cook!).   He was decked out in his "Big Bro" shirt, and he picked out his brown tennies to wear.  I truly couldn't (and still can't) believe it actually happened while I was there...two weeks early for heaven's sake!  Dad and I tag teamed the Conster until Sunday when the new addition came home to stay.  The time I spent with Connor is and will be some of the most precious memories of my life.  I love that little rascal more than I could even begin to describe.  When the babe in arms came home I got to snuggle her almost all afternoon.  IT.  WAS.  HEAVEN.  I could have died in her little eyes.  Those four days were priceless...I can't even think about either of those angels' faces without tearing up! OOOOOH!  My mom even got in on Sunday, so I got to see her for a little while too. 

After a tearful goodbye, I started my drive to meet the gang in Elyria, OH.  It was the last thing I wanted to do...leave all my sweeties behind.  BUT, because mom and dad were both in IN they were able to bring Con to see my show today.  I cried after they left.  Some teacher saw me playing with Con after the show and asked if he was "mine".  I told her that he was my nephew...but was thinking that I would claim him in an instant.  I took him backstage to my dressing room to retrieve my keys to hand over to Noonie and Poopa, and on the walk he asked, "Caroloin, after you do your show...you come to my house?"  (I am welling up right now!  sheesh!)  I had to take a little breath, shove down the lump in my throat and say, "Well Con, I have to go to some other places to do my show...but I am going to come and visit you as soon as I can."  Priceless.

Whew. 

Other things of note (Must change subject...to stop the tears...daaaaaang!):

Got my federal tax refund today
Bought a new bra. (mine are so ratty)
Ate Chik-fil-a
Got my roots touched up and a killer hair cut (Don't worry Mom ...it's still long...)
Skyped for the very first time
Oh...and my lil sissy got some BIG news (Congrats! AH!)

Off to NC tomorrow...closer to home...things are good in this world even though they aren't really.  Babies are born everyday.  They are all sweet, and pure and helpless.  Isn't it kinda funny though that even though they're helpless...they will probably be the ones who end up helping us?  hmmmm...

Oh I love her...and him....and lots of other folks too.

XOXOXOXOXOXO.

What are the freakin odds?

My bedside table consists of two phones, a really loud alarm clock, my glasses, and a baby monitor...

I will tell you why tomorrow.

XO.

It's Official.

XO.

Hog Heaven

So I had to report immediately about my BBQ adventure.  Dad had told me about Rendezvous...this old school BBQ place he used to go to back when he was in grad school in Memphis.  I actually happened upon it this afternoon and thought it looked pretty authentic.  I rounded up the meat eaters in the tour gang and we headed there around 7:30.  The entrance is off the street in this little alley, and it was packed!  Tons of people waiting outside to get in...looked promising.  The place was huge....almost a whole city block underneath the building.  As soon as you walked in the meat smell hit you like a brick wall.  My mouth was watering.  Our waiter, I think his name was Arnold, had been slinging ribs there since 1973....SHEESH.  Dad...we probably had the same waiter!  I had the small portion of ribs, baked beans and slaw.  I licked my plate and fingers clean.  (Before and after pics below)  We hit Memphis gold.

XO.

I got the blues...

...Not really...just seemed fitting since I am writing from the birthplace of blues....Memphis, TN ya'll.

We have had quite the sit down here in the south.  I mean...I am being worked to death.  We have a total of....wait...wait...ONE show this week.  And it isn't even until tomorrow at 10 AM.  It's so hard to be me.

We got to Memphis on Friday evening, after a 10 hour long drive.  I drove most of the day, subjecting my poor navigator to my erratic musical stylings.  We were all pretty antsy after being cooped up all day so a Beale Street exploration was planned and carried out.  I have to admit that Beale was a tad disappointing.  I was expecting cool dive bars with old guys rasping over brass and rockin' jazz organs.  Well...I did hear a couple of jazz organs...  But Beale has been turned into a tourist trap with a capitol T.  The street is all blocked off, so everyone is swaggering around with open containers of booze...some of them in strange plastic contraptions slung over the shoulder. 

So yes...ticky tacky Beale.  I decided to let go of my disappointment and dive head first into the mayhem.  We (me and three of the gals...two more met us later) each bought an obscenely large beverage from an outdoor vendor and started walking in Memphis...(go ahead...sing the song...know you want to.  It took me a good two days into our stay here to shake it outta my head.)  We stopped at an outdoor music venue where some guys were wailing.  They were really great actually.  The best part about this pit stop were two little boys...maybe about 7 or 8 years old breaking it down!  They were right in front of the bandstand and probably had more soul in their pinky finger than I do in my whole 25 year old body.  One of them kept checking in with the crowd just to make sure we were watching...it was adorable.  And impressive...sheesh.  After a while of drooling over the little ones we headed back out onto the street.  It wasn't long until two more of our ladies met up with us and we split up to cover more territory.  Dawn, our lighting engineer, wanted to go to Coyote Ugly, so I decided to accompany her.  Well...lets just say we ended up dancing on top of the bar.  Don't ask me how...well actually it was pretty simple...we just hopped up there and started groovin.  AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" was playing if I recall correctly.  Now, my street drink was big but it wasn't that big so I was awkwardly aware of what I was doing...lets just say as SOON as the song was over I was ready to skedaddle.  And we did, well...after we each took a picture on the bar :)  We met the other ladies at a different dance club and shook it some more, this time on the dance floor like normal people...  Our evening ended with a downpour as we trudged back home.  My biggest worry was how my Des Moines boots would hold up in the rain!  Woe is me... :)

Saturday was spent largely and delightfully in bed.  I finally got up and around that afternoon for a Memphis walk.  (I was walking in Memphis...)  I stopped in a dive and got a surprisingly delicious cheeseburger and fries, stopped by Walgreens for some rubbing alcohol (dang fever blister), and then just generally enjoy the beautiful southern weather.  That was also the afternoon that two inebriated gentleman cat called to me, "Happy Resurrection, Baby!".  Only in the South...  That evening all I really wanted to do was laze about and eat chocolate, but the gals convinced me to go out.  Beale round two:  This time I was somehow talked in to drinking (eating?) a jello concoction out of a huge syringe.  It tasted like Robitussin.  Gross.  I bought a cool magnet though.  I don't know if I've mentioned that...I have been collecting magnets from places of interest along the tour...so every time I look at my fridge I will see where I have been.  We were romanced by some dudes outside of a little bar to come and listen to their band.  It was a rock-a-billy group so we checked it out for a while...they were surprisingly good, despite that fact that they all looked like bankers or middle school teachers disguised by "funky" hats.  We eventually ended up at the same dance club from the night before, but I didn't last long.  Luckily one of the other ladies wasn't feeling it either, so we trekked home together. 

Sunday: Happy Easter! I awoke and tried not to awaken my roomie as I got ready for church.  One of the girls from the cast and I decided to check out a local church for the holiday.  She got a recommendation from a friend and we took the big ol van (we are calling her Grace) about 20 minutes away to New Direction Christian Church.  Well...I experienced many firsts that morning.  I was definitely one of maybe 3 other white people on attendance and this place was HUGE.  We walked in and the ushers had elaborate, tribal makeup on, all blue.  "Odd choice for Easter Sunday", I thought.  The sanctuary was filled with camera men, fancy theatrical lighting and a full set with a huge tree in the center.  The choir came out and THEY. WERE. AMAZING.  If you weren't filled with joy after hearing them wail then there was something very wrong with you.  I had constant chills running down my legs.  Breathtaking.  Then the passion play started...  "What is the theme for this passion play?" you ask.  "Jesus is my Avatar."  "Why, of course, naturally." you reply.  That explains the freaky blue makeup.  It was oh so special...in more ways than one.  The pastor was great, so that (and the MUSIC) made for a lovely service...despite the avatars...I'm sorry...it was weird.  Zurin (my cast mate) had warned me that the service was probably going to be longer than I was used to, and two hours later she was right.  We giggled as we walked back to Grace thinking about the passion play, but I will admit...the members of that church aren't afraid to show their faith to anyone.  Something we all should look into no matter where our passion lies.  Once back at the hotel I hoofed it to meet some of the other ladies for Easter brunch.  I met them at the most charming restaurant.  It was an Inn as well, called the Phelan Hunt House.  Gen. Grant had commandeered it during the Civil War for his headquarters while in Memphis.  Its been restored and sits right in the midst of the city.  It was a gorgeous day and the gals were sitting out on the back patio.  It was very fancy, and VERY southern.  The service was divine and the food even more so.  I had eggs benedict with a mixed green salad, and a Kir Royale.  It was like a mimosa, but with black currant liqueur instead of OJ.  DELISH.  After a three hour brunch (southern ladies taker their time) I decided I needed an Easter nap.  Later, I did some reading outside and ate my Cadbury Creme Egg.  I had bought it for myself the day before...my own little Easter goody. 

Monday found me in the Cooper Young district of Memphis.  Its a little artsy area...pretty sparse on a Monday unfortunately.  Not much was open.  I found a great vintage store filled with awesome dishware and furniture...luckily it was all too large to fit into my suitcase so it kept me from buying :)  I met the other gals at a restaurant and guzzled some sweat tea then we all headed back to the hotel.  It was then time to find a good place to hunker down to watch the NCAA tourney.  Zurin came with me and we ended up at Huey's down on Union.  I was wearing my navy blue tank top in honor of Butler.  The game was so good...and so close...and so heartbreaking.  I seriously got tears in my eyes when the final buzzer went.  My older sister put it best "Sucks worse than a blow out".  Ain't it the danged truth?  But I have to admit, I was proud of myself for actually caring about a sporting event period.  I also helped some Canadians cheat at bar trivia.  The question was "What famous musician, and famous cartoon character both have a daughter named Lisa Marie?" DUH. The King and Homer.  But these Canadians were struggling, and I wasn't playing, so I thought I would slip them a freebie...being foreigners and all.  Zurin and I walked home, feeling a little blue about the dogs and sleep came soon. 

Today has been pretty painless.  Woke up, ate some leftover pizza, walked around downtown on a mission to find some ice cream.  This website I follow (greenissexy.com) and my book mentioned how it was "green" to eat ice cream from a cone rather than a bowl.  No plastic spoon or paper cup.  So I decided it would be my green deed of the day to devour some creamy goodness.  And devour I did.  It was heavenly.  Laundry was also on the agenda...which finally got done.  Now my plan is to head to Rendezvous.  Its a BBQ place suggested to me by my Daddio.  I walked by it today and it looks perfect.  You enter from an alley and its got the original rusty sign hanging above the door.  Apparently they have the best ribs around...we shall see :)

Finally have a show in the morn.  Only one at 10 AM...then I am headed to IN to visit my sister and her fam.  SO. EXCITED. 

XO.

I don't wanna...

I am being dragged (not too hard) to Beale street.

I wanna write.

And pout.

I am uninspired and whiney.

Butler won...that was the highlight of my day...who am I?

"Happy resurrection baby!", hollered two drunk men on the streets of Memphis this afternoon. At me.

I win.

XO.

There's no place like home...or KANSAS!

Today finds me in Junction City, KS.

We drove a lengthy 100 miles today...rough day :) and got to our hotel around noon.  Our rooms weren't ready so we had some time to kill.  It was a gorgeous day, so I headed out to the courtyard to soak up some rays.  There was a big concrete slab surrounded by some grass so I just laid my little self right down.  We were eventually let into our rooms so I dropped my bags then headed to a nearby subway to grab a sammie.  Then it was bathing suit time!  I went back out to my concrete slab and ate and soaked and "sweated" and smiled.  The high here in Junction City was 85 degrees...and it felt like it.  Oh! I forgot to mention my favorite purchase of the day!  The subway was in a Wal-Mart (classy) so I decided to get some things for breakfast since this hotel doesn't have a free one...and I happened by the chip aisle and saw that sunchips had a new, very loud crinkly bag.  WELL...it just so happens to be made out of PLANTS and its COMPOSTABLE!  How cool!  I mean...I can't really compost in the van, but I bought them anyway.  GO SUNCHIPS!  And the new garden salsa flavor is delish by the way.  SO I munched my chips out of their eco friendly bag and continued sunning.  I was in hog heaven.  It truly felt like spring had sprung!  I stayed out until about 5:30...took a quick dip in the pool to cool off, then cleaned myself up for a brief company meeting at 7 PM.  A couple of us decided to go out to dinner.  I have a confession to make:  I had half of my subway sandwich still in the hotel room, could have totally eaten that for dinner, BUT I had showered and put on a cute new sundress and my new boots to show off my new tan (well...its a little more burn than tan...) so I wanted to go priss around and look cute.  There. I said it, ok?  Whew...I feel better :)

We drove to nearby Manhattan, KS and went to a little burger joint on the outskirts of Kansas State University.  Good service and good food.  By the time dinner was over I. was. POOPED.  The sun sure had drained me...it's actually taken me forever to slam this one out...I keep closing my eyes.  But its that good "I have been at the beach all day" kind of tired. 

Now I leave you with Chapter One : The Cyclone

Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with Uncle Henry, who was a farmer, and Aunt Em, who was the farmer's wife. Their house was small, for the lumber to build it had to be carried by wagon many miles. There were four walls, a floor and a roof, which made one room; and this room contained a rusty looking cookstove, a cupboard for the dishes, a table, three or four chairs, and the beds. Uncle Henry and Aunt Em had a big bed in one corner, and Dorothy a little bed in another corner. There was no garret at all, and no cellar--except a small hole dug in the ground, called a cyclone cellar, where the family could go in case one of those great whirlwinds arose, mighty enough to crush any building in its path. It was reached by a trap door in the middle of the floor, from which a ladder led down into the small, dark hole.







When Dorothy stood in the doorway and looked around, she could see nothing but the great gray prairie on every side. Not a tree nor a house broke the broad sweep of flat country that reached to the edge of the sky in all directions. The sun had baked the plowed land into a gray mass, with little cracks running through it. Even the grass was not green, for the sun had burned the tops of the long blades until they were the same gray color to be seen everywhere. Once the house had been painted, but the sun blistered the paint and the rains washed it away, and now the house was as dull and gray as everything else.






When Aunt Em came there to live she was a young, pretty wife. The sun and wind had changed her, too. They had taken the sparkle from her eyes and left them a sober gray; they had taken the red from her cheeks and lips, and they were gray also. She was thin and gaunt, and never smiled now. When Dorothy, who was an orphan, first came to her, Aunt Em had been so startled by the child's laughter that she would scream and press her hand upon her heart whenever Dorothy's merry voice reached her ears; and she still looked at the little girl with wonder that she could find anything to laugh at.






Uncle Henry never laughed. He worked hard from morning till night and did not know what joy was. He was gray also, from his long beard to his rough boots, and he looked stern and solemn, and rarely spoke.






It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose. Toto played all day long, and Dorothy played with him, and loved him dearly.






Today, however, they were not playing. Uncle Henry sat upon the doorstep and looked anxiously at the sky, which was even grayer than usual. Dorothy stood in the door with Toto in her arms, and looked at the sky too. Aunt Em was washing the dishes.






From the far north they heard a low wail of the wind, and Uncle Henry and Dorothy could see where the long grass bowed in waves before the coming storm. There now came a sharp whistling in the air from the south, and as they turned their eyes that way they saw ripples in the grass coming from that direction also.






Suddenly Uncle Henry stood up.






"There's a cyclone coming, Em," he called to his wife. "I'll go look after the stock." Then he ran toward the sheds where the cows and horses were kept.






Aunt Em dropped her work and came to the door. One glance told her of the danger close at hand.






"Quick, Dorothy!" she screamed. "Run for the cellar!"






Toto jumped out of Dorothy's arms and hid under the bed, and the girl started to get him. Aunt Em, badly frightened, threw open the trap door in the floor and climbed down the ladder into the small, dark hole. Dorothy caught Toto at last and started to follow her aunt. When she was halfway across the room there came a great shriek from the wind, and the house shook so hard that she lost her footing and sat down suddenly upon the floor.






Then a strange thing happened.






The house whirled around two or three times and rose slowly through the air. Dorothy felt as if she were going up in a balloon.






The north and south winds met where the house stood, and made it the exact center of the cyclone. In the middle of a cyclone the air is generally still, but the great pressure of the wind on every side of the house raised it up higher and higher, until it was at the very top of the cyclone; and there it remained and was carried miles and miles away as easily as you could carry a feather.






It was very dark, and the wind howled horribly around her, but Dorothy found she was riding quite easily. After the first few whirls around, and one other time when the house tipped badly, she felt as if she were being rocked gently, like a baby in a cradle.






Toto did not like it. He ran about the room, now here, now there, barking loudly; but Dorothy sat quite still on the floor and waited to see what would happen.






Once Toto got too near the open trap door, and fell in; and at first the little girl thought she had lost him. But soon she saw one of his ears sticking up through the hole, for the strong pressure of the air was keeping him up so that he could not fall. She crept to the hole, caught Toto by the ear, and dragged him into the room again, afterward closing the trap door so that no more accidents could happen.






Hour after hour passed away, and slowly Dorothy got over her fright; but she felt quite lonely, and the wind shrieked so loudly all about her that she nearly became deaf. At first she had wondered if she would be dashed to pieces when the house fell again; but as the hours passed and nothing terrible happened, she stopped worrying and resolved to wait calmly and see what the future would bring. At last she crawled over the swaying floor to her bed, and lay down upon it; and Toto followed and lay down beside her.






In spite of the swaying of the house and the wailing of the wind, Dorothy soon closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.



XO.

My day.

Yoga made me sore. 

The shows were great.

The playwright was there.

He is a sweetie.

The weather was perfection.

We drove to Missouri.

I have been sitting on my tush all evening.

I got the tour blues.

Chik-fil-a + indulgent TV = happiness

I am going to beddy now.

XO.

Day...somethin' or other...

Iowa has been the pleasantest of surprises!

After reading for far too long last night I remembered I had agreed to attend an 8 AM yoga class in the morn.  That alarm slapped me awake, and I almost texted my portner (yes PORTner...it all started in California wine country ok?) to say I was staying put, but I decided that was lame, so I forced myself out of the bed.  We met in the hotel lobby at 7:15 (ew) and started the trek to Des Moines' East Village.  Its a funky little neck of the woods with vintage clothing stores, "green" beauty salons, and trendy little people walking around in tight pants.  We arrived at the studio around 7:15, but the door was locked.  "Oh no." I thought. "Did my portner misread the schedule? Did we really just hike all the way here at 7 AM for nothing?"  I was secretly hoping it was closed so I could go back to bed...  We decided to run in to a tea shop around the corner and check back closer to 8.  Apparently the instructor was just running a bit late, because when we went back the door was just swinging open.  Once inside we walked up some stairs that felt like they might cave in at the slightest pressure.  Whitewashed walls with exposed brick showing through in patches led us to the bright, open space of the studio.  Greta (our instructor) met us at the top of the stairs and welcomed us quietly.  She looked like she belonged on a beach somewhere...toe headed, tanned, eyes starting to wrinkle but in that attractive sort of way.  There were just three of us taking the class, excluding Greta, so we spread through the whiteness of Revive Studio.  Although I felt a little nauseous half-way through (again with the empty stomach and coffee...I need to quit that...) I left feeling...wait for it...REVIVED!  It was really lovely, and ended up being a great workout.  Greta gave us our first class (my first class ever!) for free, so we gave her a hearty "Namaste!" and walked down the block to find breakfast.  She had suggested a diner called "Baby Boomers".  I had a veggie omelet, fruit and wheat toast...all delish.  We then hoofed it back about 5 blocks to our hotel to get showered and ready for the rest of the day.  I have been wearing Tom's brand natural deodorant...its been working fine until I actually started sweating in yoga...I smelled like a stinky hippy. 

I cleaned up, then met the rest of my cast and crew in the lobby to head to our venue.  A puppet troupe from Nova Scotia was performing "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and we were invited to come see the show.  It was charming.  They used black light, so the book's illustrations really popped as the puppets.  The kiddos ate it up!  It had turned out to be a beautiful spring day, so after the show a couple of us walked back to the East Village for lunch.  We went to a new Lebanese place called "Open Sesame".  Again, delish.  Des Moines does not disappoint.  I had the vegetarian sampler, and had enough leftover to bring home and eat for dinner.  We decided to walk off our impending food coma and do some window shopping.  My window shopping turned into freaking buying...but it was well worth it.  This "justifying my purchases" thing is getting to be a problem...  The store was called Raygun.  It was a cross between American Apparel and Urban Outfitters, but all local.  Some hip, young guys owned the place and had their screen printing equipment in the back of the store where you could see the whole process.  I bought a yellow t that said "you had me at moustache"...its cute, I promise.  And if you could see my beau's current facial hair stylings you would understand.

I started to worry about my obviously loose wallet, and decided it was time to head back to the hotel for a little siesta.  My nap would have been perfect if it had not been infected with HORRIBLE dreams.  I woke up in a tizzy, and sort of nibbled on my leftover Lebanese food and stared out the window for a while.  Then I decided I needed to snap out of it and set to doing some work.  I have been researching some theatres that I would like to start a relationship with and sent some preliminary emails.  It felt good to cross that off my list...now if I could only motivate myself to do my taxes...maybe in Kansas?

We have two shows tomorrow then head out to KS.  I am secretly excited, because I plan to pretend to be Ms. Gale while we are there. 

Namaste.

XO.

You really ought to give Iowa a try.

...Provided you are contrary.

Yesterday was filled with clouds and icy rain.  I bought boots that were far too expensive.  I blame the weather. 

Actually, other than spending my weeks budget on a pair of BEAUTIFUL brown leather boots, my Saturday was lovely.  I went to a specialty yarn store with my stage manager and our sound engineer, then we grabbed lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.  Then the boots happened...lets just not talk about it, ok?  The evening ended with a brief hangout in the hotel bar, followed by 22 flights of stairs.  SO...we thought it would be a GREAT idea to walk up the stairs to our rooms because 1) to avoid the hundreds of children in the elevator that were in town for a wrestling conference...rarararandom. and 2) to be good green citizens.  The scene from Mad Men came to mind, ya know...where the boss drank about 30 martini's, and raw oysters then precedes to huff and puff up the stairs, then promptly vomits all over his office? Oops...spoiler alert. Yeah, not as easy as I had hoped.  I practically crawled into my hotel room and sprawled onto my bed.  Well...actually I sprawled onto the desk chair so I could tweet and update my facebook status...let's be honest.  I did manage to get my wobbly limbs over to my bed eventually...after searching online for the best organic, biodegradable, sustainable shampoo...did I mention we were planning on going to the Natural Living Expo the next morning? :)

It took me forever to fall asleep.  The anxiety of "what happens next" is starting to get to me...

I did pop up like a little daisy this morning though...very pumped about the expo.  I met two ladies from the cast and we rambled over to the convention center.  I figured I would wear my new boots to start to get some use out of them...although I was worried some vegan animal rights hippy dippy would throw paint on them or something... 

We were three of the first 200 hundred people (does that even make sense?) in the doors so we received a free hemp tote bag.  It actually pays to be early...huh.  It was a gloriously green day filled with natural soaps and lotions, gluten free goodies, chiropractors galore, reusable baby diapers and ladies pads (EW.), and the occasional clairvoyant.  I. HAD. A. BLAST.  I talked to some vendor about fish oil for far too long, and realized I actually knew far too much about it.  I guess I am actually learning something from my Canadian friend in my book...

My head started to spin a little from all of the good energy in the room...or maybe from all the coffee and no breakfast...so I decided to stop by the food booth for some lunch. $5 got me a baby cup of some vegan tomato soup, which was delish but not all too filling.  I tried to eat some wheat free, gluten free, organic, cracked black pepper crisps (I just dug the bag out of my trash can...) to fill me up, but unfortunately they weren't the tastiest.  I ventured back out onto the expo floor to peruse the last two lanes of booths.  I had avoided all of the chiropractors thus far, but then this man caught my eye and asked me to try his "method".  I felt trapped, so I put down my now filled tote bag, and laid on the table.  He told me to relax (while people walked by and stared at me) while he ran some vibrating thing up and down my spine, while he also put something practically in my rear.  Um...ok?  Then he dinged this tuning fork and waved it around my head...welp that did it.  I busted out laughing and I don't think he was all that amused... Oops.  But I mean really?  By this time I had seen about all I could see, and decided it was time to head back to the hotel.  The other gals were headed to the mall, but I declined, not wanting to repeat yesterday's boot fiasco/miracle...they really are fantastic boots.  And I was also pleasantly surprised at how many compliments I got from the hippy dippy's on them.  No red paint for me!

Since my lovely teaspoonful of vegan tomato soup didn't really stick to my ribs, I ran down to the hotel bar to get a salad and watch the Duke/Baylor game.  Butler is in the final four, so I am actually interested.  I talked to the bartender for a while since there was no one else there, then one of the guys from my show came and watched the game with me.  Poor little Baylor!  They hung in right until the end...then Dooky (thanks MC) took it.  I actually like sports...sometimes. 

Now I suppose its time for more online research about green beauty products (to avoid doing my taxes).  I am trying to switch to all natural.  I started with the deodorant, and as I run out of things I am going to try and replace them with a green alternative.  Oh, I also carbon offset all of the flights I have taken so far in 2010.  In my book, Vanessa had a section about Carbonfund.org.  Its the number one non profit to donate to offset your carbon footprint.  It actually calculated the exact miles you flew and that determines how much you need to donate to offset.  My flight's this year put out about .86 tons of carbon so it only ended up being about $9 to offset.  I researched the organization myself, and they are awesome.  They take your donation and put it toward projects supporting renewable energy sources and planting trees etc.  They were voted the number one carbon offsetting organization by TreeHugger.com....oh my goodness...listen to me...sheesh.

I am just trying to be a responsible Earth dweller.  (insert pat on the back here)

Now to actually talk to my beau on the telly.  We only talk every couple of days...but its always nice to hear his voice...even if he does mumble ;)

XO.

"If you don't, you won't"

Michael Buble's version of "Feelin' Good" just came on my Pandora station.

My room is filled with the scent of my new lilac blossom candle.

I have real roses and baby's breathe in glasses around my bed.

I have my OWN room for five days.

Yes, its a good evening.

After a day long drive North, we have made it to Des Moines.  I suppose I should recap the last day or two...

I was last seen at Mama Joy and Grandad's house in BG.  MJ took me to meet Great Aunt Judy, and cousins Becky and John at a rest stop.  They were heading up to Paducah a day early, so they offered to drive me to my hotel and save MJ the trip.  I hadn't seen any of them in quite a while, so it was fun to catch up.  Aunt Judy was decked out in a snake skin print jacket and pants..."I don't dress my age.", she says.  She was a hoot.  We were definitely riding in style.  A brand new Jaguar...if that ain't classy I don't know what is.  After a fairly short trip, they hugged and kissed me, dropped me off at the hotel, and then headed to win big across the river.  I relaxed a little then met some of the tour fam for some Mexican food in downtown Paducah.  The joint was practically empty, BUT the food was glorious.  Also, one of the best margarita's I have ever had.  (Well...AVL's are TRULY the best, but for a restaurant these were dang close)  Kipparazzi was in attendance so of course we had to take advantage of picturesque downtown Paducah.  After a quick photo shoot, we headed back to the hotel.  After my little vacay in BG I was refreshed and full of energy...aka not ready for bed yet.  I decided a little hot tub action was in order.  I went down to the indoor pool area, plugged in my iPod and, being the only one in there, sang my little heart out.  It was delightful until I turned on the jets and realized they were above the water level, so it created a splashy wave-like effect.  Not as soothing as I was hoping, but I decided to hold out and move away from the jets to see if that would help.  I was singing a particularly soulful section of an Amy Winehouse song, when I got a faceful of water from the dern jets and decided it was time for bed after all. 

The next morning was an early one.  Two shows awaited.  The first show was great...I felt really good about it.  Which was a pleasant surprise compared to my slightly strange morning.  Let's just say I showed some kids my rear.  Literally.  Our dressing room had these huge windows facing the street and I wasn't thinking and started to change into my costume.  I was standing there, pants around my ankles, in all my polka dotted underwear glory when two school buses drove by.  All of the children happened to be staring DIRECTLY into our window.  Joy.  So needless to say I was glad I wasn't laughed off the stage...

The second show was an exciting one for me because 9 people from my family were in the audience!  Other than the occasionally familiar giggle from someone in my clan, the audience was SILENT.  I hate it when the teachers shush the kids.  They scare the living daylights out of them and then they are afraid to laugh and react.  They need theatre etiquette in schools, I tell you! 

After the show, I got to get and give lots of hugs and the camera flashes kept coming.  I really am the luckiest gal I know.  All of those people drove at least two hours there and back to see my show.  I have the best family ever.  The Robertson and Settle clans accompanied me to a leisurely lunch at a seafood place downtown.  It all ended too soon...I was so sad to see everyone go.  Even though I always want more time, the little time that we had was just what I needed to perk me up.  After I hugged everyone goodbye, I took a little cat nap, then met the tour fam at Rafferty's for some basketball and margaritas.  I was excited to be watching the Butler game, and bigolly, they won!  I had fun texting Melis and Cam during the game.  Cam is a bulldog through and through so I know he was excited by the win.  Because we went to dinner so early, we got home early and fairly early to bed. 

I didn't sleep well last night.  Very restless.  Hot and cold.  So the morning rushed at me in the worst way.  Two of the cast have traveled away for the weekend so the van was very roomy.  I had my own seat the whole trip which. was. awesome!  Whatever sleep I missed last night I made up for today on the drive. 

We are staying in a schmansy hotel in downtown Des Moines.  So schmansy that they charge for internet...but luckily the Kennedy Center came through and included it in our room!  I am getting so spoiled :)  I talked to my momma a few times today since she is on the road too.  And its her birthday...happy birthday mommy!  Also, my beau's birthday was yesterday.  And my sister's birthday was Monday.  And my parents' 27th wedding anniversary was Wednesday.  I am happy and thankful for all of these celebrations, but wish I could have given each of these special people a big squeeze on their special day.  Part of the tour blues I suppose. 

Taking it easy tonight...maybe a little b-ball in the hotel bar? 

I will leave you with some wise words my Mama Joyce declared the other morning at breakfast:

"If you don't, you won't."

Grandad won't ever let her live that one down ;)

XO.

BG

Good morning world! I wake, yet again, refreshed and rested.

The rest of yesterday was just delightful! I had a lovely little breakfast with my grandparents, cleaned myself up, then headed out on the town with MJ. By the time we actually got out we didn't have tons of time because we were meeting one of their friends for dinner. But we did make it to TJ Maxx and Wally World. After those stops we headed over to my Aunt Nina's house so MJ could do some business things there. Their sweet dog, Harley, had passed away a couple of weeks ago and my Uncle Steve had requested I make him a grave marker. Since Uncle lives in Nashville, he gave the obit to MJ over the phone and I set to work. Unfortunately I couldn't fit the whole thing on the stone...that's what happens when you try and freehand letters I suppose. I will include the whole thing here though, in honor of Uncle Tebe and Harley.

HARLEY

Beloved Pet of Jim and Nina

And friend to us all.

3-10-10

Aunt Nina was sleeping while I was there so I didn't get to say hello, which was a little bit of a bummer...but I did finish my project in enough time for us to race home and get ready for our dinner plans though. The day turned out to be SO beautiful. Its not everyday you are asked to paint a dog's gravestone, but it was right enjoyable sitting out in the sunshine painting away.

After we got home I threw on a long maxi dress, threw my hair up, and threw on some more makeup...lots of throwing going on...I was in a bit of a rush :)

We picked up MJ and GD's lady friend (and I think big time financial friend to Western U) at 5:30 and headed to a fancy pants restaurant downtown. It was called "Bistro" and it was in an old house close to their church...never been there before, but it was DELISH! I had the Mediterranean Tilapia. It was cooked with garlic, capers, tomatoes, peppers and onions, drizzled in a white wine butter sauce on a bed of garlic-y green beans. YUM. The conversation was lovely and only once got a little political. I just smiled and stayed out of that one...didn't want my arty, liberal ideas to come across as "unlady like". :)

Since we ate early, we were home early. MJ and I decided we needed a "little sweet" so I busted out the bag of cadbury mini eggs I had been hoarding. I love the Easter season for many reasons, BUT I have to guiltily admit that those little chocolate, crunchy eggs are one of them. MJ did some reading while I did some crafting on the couch. We couldn't really find much on TV, so I ended up settling some detective show about Jack the Ripper...my day had been a little random so why not my TV too?

Bedtime came soon and welcomed. I crawled into my big bed upstairs and read a little. I am currently reading "Sleeping Naked is Green". It is a hilarious book about a young arts journalist in Canada who started a blog keeping track of each "green" thing she added to her lifestyle. In the end she makes 365 green changed to her life...one for everyday of the year. It has made me think about my lifestyle choices a lot, and I have to admit it’s a little hard to be "green" when riding around the country in a HUGE van, when the theatre venues provide ample supplies of BOTTLED WATER....etc...I can at least unplug all my appliances :)

Today is a shorter one in BG....I sadly must get back to Paducah to prepare for tomorrow's shows. I think we are leaving around 2...so I must get my laundry done while its still free! (I am serious about this budget thing!)

XO.

Southern Comfort

Greetings from Kane-tuck!

1. The other day I realized we were getting to Paducah two days early, so I hollered at my Mamma Joyce and away they came to scoop me up!

I am writing from their pool room...not much pool going on these days since the table is covered in family photos. MJ is quite the project master :) I had the loveliest night's sleep up in "the girls" room and already feel refreshed and more like a human being.

So yesterday...

We had only one show in the morning and it went well. It was a mostly deaf audience so that was cool. There was a talk back afterward and it was great to hear all of the kids' questions. The lighting was dim, so they came up on stage and signed to us so we could see. After the talk back, we had a little break while the crew loaded out the set. I sat in the dressing room and worked on a secret craft project I have going on, while the other cast members grabbed lunch. I have put myself on a budget...finally...and to save mula I have started making myself a peanut butter sandwich from the hotel's breakfast bar....sneaky. I also grab and apple and extra yogurt, and voila! Instant lunch :)

Once I reemerged from the dressing room dungeon the sun had popped out and it had actually warmed up! It was a great match to my cheery mood...I was starting to get very excited to see my grand folks. We all hopped in the van and drove the 4 hours to Paducah. I was the navigator, but the driver seemed to have everything under control, so I continued to work on my secret project. We arrived in Paducah around 6 PM and just as soon as I had packed a smaller bag, MJ gave me a ring that they were down in the lobby. I hurried down the steps (that is my new workout routine...taking the steps in the hotel rather than the elevator...I know...don't over do it you say...) and gave them both big squeezes! We were all hungry so we went to O'Charlie's for a nice dindin. Grandad got us some onion rings on the sly when he went to the restroom in "celebration of Caroline bein' with us!" :) I ate a big grilled chicken salad and the more I ate the more it seemed to grow in my bowl...it was huge. I took most of it home. We piled back in the car (usually I would not be so happy about more driving...but this was SO worth it!) and drove the 2 hours back to Bowling Green. Just walking into their house made me feel stress free...a lovely feeling these days. We all did a little reading in the living room. I picked up a home magazine...I think it was Colonial living or Better Homes or something...but it made me want to decorate something new! I also saw pictures of refabed old furniture selling for thousands of dollars...looked almost just like the stuff I have in my room...that I redid...from salvation army...got my cogs turning.

Now I must got join MJ in the kitchen to enjoy a poached egg and wheat toast (her favorite breakfast).

I am happy as a clam :)

XO.

Honest Abe

I am tired...gonna try and be brief.

Woke up
Put on dirty clothes
Walked in the cold to Panera to obtain coffee and bagel for breakfast
Walked back to hotel to loaf on the internet
Shower
Got spiffed up to visit Abe's home in Springfield
Toured Abe's crib
Took pictures
Raced back to hotel
Ate Steak-n-Shake for dinner (gross but oh so good)
Attended cookie reception held for us by a local University
Listened to presentations about the Deaf Community
(Did you know that the hand signals for "strike" and "foul ball" in baseball were created because of Dummy Hoy...the deaf pro ball player back in the 1880's? I didn't.)
Schlepped back to the hotel
Talked to my beau...well we both sort of mumbled
Watched Obama on the tube (HEALTHCARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Got in my jammies
Hunkered down to write this.

Some wisdom from our 16th President (who was the subject of my FIRST big book report in elementary school):

"All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother." Abraham Lincoln

In honor of mom's birthday week :)

XO.

Irony

Today is officially the first day of spring.  I like to imagine Mother Nature welcoming me to Earth's baby period with breezy sunshine, budding trees, little purple crocus, and bumbling fuzzy chicks. 

She had other plans for us today...

We left snowy (but not snow-ing) Lincoln, NE around 10 am.  It was my turn to drive, and I took the wheel with confidence and lots of coffee.  I really prefer driving.  As the one in charge of the van, the driver gets monopoly on the radio.  Score.  I promptly plugged in my iPod and subjected the poor riders to my eclectic musical stylings.  We hopped from Beatles, to Motown, to Regina Spektor, to Sara Bareilles, to some weird (but good) music my Beau had given me.  Looking in my rear view mirror to change lanes, I caught a glimpse of the gang...most were head phoned and sleeping...so I took that as a sign to crank up the tunes and sing my little heart out.  We were clipping along until we got into Iowa.  Then it began.  That pesky white stuff started as a pretty little dust, to a full on storm.  Luckily, the roads were clear and the snow didn't seem to be sticking.  We stopped somewhere in Missouri for lunch, and I made a phone call to my Mama Joyce to set up an impromptu side trip.  We were about 4.5 hours into the drive and I decided I was done for the day, so I gave the keys to the next person on the list.  We set out and were making pretty good time, when we all heard (and felt) what sounded like a gun shot inside the van.  One of the gals sitting over the back left tire exclaimed, "I think we blew a tire." with a wild horse look in her eyes.  We pulled over (in the snow) and our driver got out (in the snow) to check the tire (in the snow) and it was indeed blown (in the snow).  We bundled up and all piled out of the van to assess the situation.  About the only thing I was assessing was how flipping cold it was outside.  I wouldn't even describe it as "snow"...it was like fiery ice chips shooting at your face.  The lone male in our group set in to get the job done, with some help from a couple of the ladies (I decided the best way I could help would be to stay out of the way).  At first it wasn't too bad.  Then my toes started to go.  Then my fingers.  I eventually wrapped my (very thin) scarf around my head to keep my ears from falling off.  I think the word "babushka" got thrown around, but hey...it was doin' the job.  It didn't help that whenever a semi whizzed by it blew not only a huge gust of frigid air our way, but muddy snow ick as well.  It is safe to say we were all slightly miserable, BUT we. could. not. stop. LAUGHING.  My roommate and I are actually laughing right now after watching a video she took on her phone of the whole fiasco.  She just ran to the bathroom by the way, to avoid a giggling accident!  SO anywho, after much giggling, and huddling for warmth, the tire eventually got changed and we piled back in the van...45 minutes later.  We decided a hot chocolate stop was a must.  The next exit was our haven and we plodded in like weary, wet soldiers of the open road.  Really, we were all just cold and whiny...one of us even sans pants.  Don't worry, she had on a really long coat.  ;)  We were a sorry, but generally cheery sight.  I guzzled down some hot cocoa once in the van and away we went.  Everyone was much quieter this leg of our journey.  All of us a little waterlogged and in need of a van nap I think.  We made it to Springfield well after dark, but relieved to have made it. 

After a very hot, very long, very un-green shower I collapsed onto my comfy Hampton Inn bed.  I never thought I would appreciate a bed that has probably been used by hundreds of people so much.  Ew...don't think about it...don't think about it. 

Tomorrow is a day off.  Sleep is coming very soon.  Like, now.

XO.

Snow...

Sara Bareilles serenades me this afternoon. 

And yes, as the title suggests...its freaking snowing.  And not just a sweet little spitting...its dumping.  And sticking.  Joy.


I was a little scattered yesterday, so scattered in fact that I forgot to write until I was already snug in my bed. So today it is.




A side note...my beau just "tweeted" and described something as being "bossy". As in, "That shirt is bossy"...i.e. in charge, cool, hip, good, etc. A castmate and I were described as bossy in a show last year...I was confused at first and apologized...I mean I know I am a control freak, but sheesh...but then the teen explained. I think this is a fun new piece of slang. So there.



OK...so yesterday, right? It was a day off, so naturally I slept through the free hotel breakfast and lounged in my pj's for most of the morning. We had the possibility of going skeet shooting later in the afternoon so I eventually showered to ready myself for my first gun adventure. Unfortunately those plans fell through; well maybe it was a sign. I trip standing still...perhaps not the best idea to put a shot gun in my hands?



Since I was already dressed I walked to the Applebee's in the hotel parking lot (I see a theme here...) to get a salad to go for my lunchy-poo. (I just woke up from a nap so I am feeling a little cuddly) Talked to my momma for a bit and enjoyed the beautiful sunshiny day! It showed no sign of what today's weather brought...



We had a company meeting at 4PM which was good...very productive and got some things worked out. Living, playing, working and traveling with the same 11 people has its ups and downs, as you can imagine, but they had snacks at the meeting which made me happy as a clam. They also had diet coke, which I enjoyed, but regretted that decision as I lay awake at 12:50 AM....



We had two shows this morning at the University of Nebraska at Lincoln's performing arts center...very nice space. It used to be an opera hall, so the acoustics were fabulous. Since I am back to feeling healthy again, the shows were really fun! We have another show this evening at 7PM, so I came back to the hotel to relax a bit. Tried to watch my favorite serial killer, Dexter, on the internet, but the video wouldn't load so I just napped instead.



I just woke up and as I snacked on my wasabi and soy covered almonds (delish by the way!) I decided to peek out of my curtains to see if the snow had stopped. Oh no...it hadn't....EVERYTHING is completely covered....



I thought I was in the clear! Oh March...you fickle thing...we are headed to Springfield tomorrow and they are only getting rain, so hopefully this truly winter's last hurrah.



I best freshen up before show number 3...and dig out my winter hat...



XO.

Nebraska

Wisconsin, to Minnesota, to Iowa, finally Nebraska.

I am in Lincoln. Apparently that was going to be my name if I had turned out to be a boy, so says my momma.

I chatted a little, snoozed a lot, and Rufus Wainwright was my music of choice. Had some potato soup at Applebee's for lunch. Talked to my sis to cook up a pre-baby visit.

Talked to dad the lounge lizard while he sipped a Guinness and listened to some live piano. He was celebrating for the both of us I suppose...I am still feeling slightly puny. Nothings serious, just tired.

Feeling a little blue. I will shake it soon I am sure.

Day off tomorrow.

XO.

Sicky in Wisconsin

The stomach flu is the pits. With a capitol P.

So Sunday evening was lovely. I got to go on a for real deal date with my Beau, the Clock and the Crazy. We went to dinner at this lovely little Italian place called Zio. I will leave out the details of what I ate that evening (you will find out why in a moment...) We then headed to the bowling alley...my suggestion :) I am not the best bowler...very inconsistent. But I do like wearing the cute shoes. I got a couple of spares and a strike (did I make that up?...the sickness has shaken my memory) but I kept spinning the ball to the right...usually only getting about three pins down at a time. It was also COSMIC BOWLING! This is when all the lights are off and they have black lights and lazer-y type rotating light balls (what?) hanging from the ceiling. It was all fun and games until certain people in our party starting messing with the score ;)

I couldn't help but observe how bowling brings out funny aspects of people. Maybe it was the blacklight...maybe just the competitive nature of the sport? I don't know...but as I looked around at business yuppies, pregnant woman, kids, grandpa's, and my artsy fartsy folk, we were all acting a little off. I loved it. My beau even pulled me over to sit on his lap...there is something delightfully trashy about a bowling alley...in the best possible way.

I hugged my lovely friends and drifted off into dream land, only to be abruptly awoken around 1:30 AM with...dun dun dun! The dreaded stomach bug. I was up all night with the dang thing. Felt like someone had poisoned me. Needless to say, I wasn't fit to get on my flight that morning at 7, so I had my beau drive me to Urgent Care for some urgent care. They gave me some IV fluids and nausea meds, and then my poor beau started getting sick too! We were a sorry sight. Me all splayed out on the little bed with an IV in my arm, and poor Matthew laying on a makeshift pallet on the floor. The Doc finally said we were good to go and I got on the phone to rearrange my flight...luckily the airline was understanding and switched it for me. A quick nap and then off to the airport went the two sickies. Both of us being sick and crunched for time, our curbside goodbye felt rushed and unsatisfying. But a goodbye squeeze was had never the less. My three flights to WI were fine, but I was struggling. I felt like death and looked like it too. You know it's bad when I don't put on any makeup...I mean, I try not to be a terribly vain person, but I AM an actor... I finally made it to WI around 9 PM and the sweet crew from my show picked my up in the big white van. I think our reunion would have been sweeter if the road wasn't so bumpy on my still delicate tum. I collapsed into my single room and called my momma for good luck. No matter how old I get I still want my momma when I am sick...I bet I will never get over that. They just know what to do to make you feel better somehow...

The night's sleep helped a ton, and I was feeling a bit better this morning. My energy was low for the two shows, but I powered through. I came straight back to the hotel afterward and continued to sleep all afternoon. It was just what the Dr. ordered.

The stomach bug is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Seriously. Tomorrow is another travel day...Nebraska I think?

Hoping sleep will come easily tonight. I am feeling a little homesick for my family and my beau. I will get to see them all relatively soon. Must keep that in mind.

XO.

Planes, rain's, and lack of automobiles...

Put on your big girl pants...this is gonna be a long one.



I believe I left you with Oscar thoughts last. The next day was another day off...surprise surprise. For time's sake I will be brief and brisk: Day off's highlights...



1. Nice lady at Target fixed my glasses for free

2. facial waxing done...no more facial hair!

3. inhaled a HUGE Moe's style burrito

4. ate so much at dinner that I felt physically ill...but dessert was worth it



Tuesday was a work day! I was ready to get back to the show. We performed at the Cerritos performing arts center...beautiful space. It had been a few days since we had performed so the show as a little funkified...with a little vomit for good luck. One of my cast mates had a little stomach issue during the show, but I will steal a saying from a good friend..."She puked and rallied!" Sorry for the vulgarity, but it was true...she went on like it was nothing. We were all abuzz the second show because there were rumors that Marlee Matlin was sneaking in to the show. Though she did not sneak, she did a very public curtain speech before the show, she sure did attend. What an honor. Nothing like having an Oscar winning actress sitting there at your 11:30 am matinee! She came back afterward to wish us all well. She was the cutest little lady. Well, cute is not the right word. She was HOT! And very gracious, while I gushed about meeting her and how excited I was that she came to see us. She was funny too...after we took some group pictures with her she casually joked to one of my cast members about a sign blunder he had made. He had accidentally signed "I'm gonna kill mom" instead of "I'm gonna tell mom" . She definitely caught it... :) She had to go pick up her kids from school so she didn't tarry, but it was still so great for her to come see us lowly theatre folk. After the celebrity high of the morning we headed back to our hotel to get ready for a party thrown by the composer of our show. She had the cast and crew over to her beautiful home, overlooking the ocean. The view was magnificent and the company even better. She and her family prepared a lovely Mexican inspired meal while the Margarita's overfloweth! It was a lovely end to our "week". The evening even included a sing-a-long with the composer herself at the piano...its not every day... :) Just as the evening started early, it ended early. Once back at the hotel I set about getting my things in order to fly to Charlotte. The next day started my mini tour vacation. I felt like a child on Christmas Eve, I could barely sleep.



After a short "nap", four of us set out to LAX at 4:15 AM. We parted ways and I boarded my 6:10 AM flight right on time. It was THE worst flight I have ever taken. I had to close my eyes and pretend I was in a car on a VERY bumpy, mountainous road. Some people actually applauded when we landed in Cincy. Never a good sign when people start to clap... But the next leg of the journey was easy peasy. I was starting to get butterflies as the little jet approached the Carolina's. It had been a month since I had seen my Beau and I was very excited to say the least. He had had (I sort of hate/love when you have to use "had had"...) a very tumultuous couple of weeks prior (two tech weeks, 12 hour work days, flakes of all shapes and sizes to name a few...) and I was glad to be there to support him. While he was at his 2nd rehearsal of the day I ate a delightful dinner at Dish (one of my Charlotte favorites) with Matthew Keffer. I ate my usual: Cajun Meatloaf, mashed potatoes with spicy gravy, yellow squash casserole and a homemade biscuit smothered in honey. Washed it down with an icy cold La Batt...it was on special for $1.50...for a reason. I then got my exact dinner to go and Keff and I meandered over to the Patchwerk Playhaus to give sustenance to the weary Machine Theatre warriors. Well...just to Matty C. actually. Dropped off the food, gave him a smooch on the head and off I went to snuggle in my VERY OWN BED! I snuggled in my down alternative comforter by candle light and caught of on past episodes of Dexter. I might as well have died and gone to heaven. After two episode I passed seamlessly into dream land and slept until I woke up the next morning....er afternoon :) Matt came back from his morning show and we walked across the street to LocoLime...a new Mexican place. It was delish as delish could be! I then headed to CTC for a meeting about some summer employment (yeah-ah) and then to a hair appointment to get my roots done. Marylin, but colorist was a gem and pampered me like a little red headed princess. After beautifying, I gussied up in one of my Vegas costumes and had some Asian cuisine with JPD, the Clock, and Keff. After loosening my already stretchy black pattened belt, we arrived at the Patchwerk Playhaus to see the world premier of "Mum's the Word", written and directed by Matt Cosper. It was just a warm fuzzy little piece of theatre fluff! NOT! It was an awesome comment on the craziness of mothers, the lack of responsibility in the human race and the end times for us white-ies. I was just bustin my buttons! Friday was dedicated to seeing CTC's production of Treasure Island. It was opening night and it was lovely to sit in the house and watch all of my friends do what they do best. The show was beautiful, especially the lighting, and the transitions were flawless. I was very proud of my pirates and it was only natural to go to Brixx to raise a glass afterward. I was beside myself, seeing such sweet familiar faces. Everyone was pretty worn down from the weeks leading to their opening, I could see through their cheery smiles. But I loved seeing each and everyone that night. Saturday was a play day! My personal pirate didn't have to be at the theatre until 2 PM so we caught a delicious brunch at Zada Janes (another of my Charlotte faves) then headed to the Carolina Raptor Center to gawk at some birds of prey. They were very majestic, as was the beautiful Carolina sky. It had kindly stopped raining for a few hours (it had been raining since I arrived in Charlotte...I told Matt that I brought the rain so that I would be the shiniest thing in the area...heh) and I enjoyed wandering the sunny trails. We had a little extra time so Matt drove me to the Davidson family cemetery...very old, very small, very creepy, very cool. It was in the middle of a field, beside a small country road. The family names consisted of Fannie, Margaret and Sallie. I think there was a Lucretia thrown in for good measure. It was time for Matthew to be at the theatre so I dumped him there then spent a while in another of my favorite places...TRADER JOE'S! I bought too much wine and not enough turkey jerky (I am almost out already!). I started in on some light cleaning, then headed to a lovely ladies home for dinner. I spent the evening with my friend Amy, and her two sweet chillins. We made tacos, and played with babies, while watching the Disney Channel. It was a perfect ending to a perfectly lovely day.



You now find me sitting in the green room of CTC watching Treasure Island on the monitor. I didn't have anything else to do so I decided to come in and hang out with the pirate crew for the afternoon. Actually, they just took their bows. It has taken me the whole show to pound out his blasted blog. I don't wanna leave my lovelies here, but I am ready to get back to work. The rest has been much needed and appreciated, and the love here has rejuvenated me, but there has been a dark undertone here. I don't know if it was just the dreary weather, or if the rumblings of a real life mutiny were actually affecting things. A little of both? Either way, its been partly bittersweet. Things just seem to be changing. For everyone, and not just about the same things either...the winds of change be a blowin! (please read in a stereotypical pirate voice)

This has taken me far too long, with too many location changes (I am now sitting on my pretty blue couch in the apartment) so be gone!

XO.

Oscar Night

Princess Caroline has had a bit of a poopoo pouty day.

Today was a day off, so some sleeping in was enjoyed this morning. I did miss breakfast though, but luckily I had stolen a handful of granola bars (not actually stolen...they were provided for us...) from our last theatre venue. I munched on my granola (and mini cadbury eggs, lets be honest) while catching up on my interneting. I did this long enough to get grossed out with myself so I made my little hotel room to-do list. I crossed off "shower", crossed off "laundry" (I hate doing laundry at home, and doubly hate doing it in a hotel), crossed off "thank you notes". All the while, I was trying to wrangle the gang to take a trip in the big white van to L.A. A friend was going to an Oscar after party at the Roosevelt hotel and invited us. No one. Wanted. To. GO.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The van had better places to be, like the mall, and the movies. I get it...I get it... I mean I love a good outlet mall too...

(Ok enough whining...)

BUT I did pout around my room for a little while. The pouting was egged on by the rumbling in my belly. I thought a luxurious late lunch (a wonderful example of alliteration, thank you!) would snap me out of it. I walked over to the hotel's restaurant while chatting with my pops. I always get a little home sick when I think about how far away I am from everyone...but thank my stars for cell phones. But yes, the lunch helped. I sat at the bar and watched Oscar red carpet activity while inhaling some honey glazed orange shrimp and brown rice. And I had a beer, ok? I ate every last bite (and drop) then headed back to the hotel. I got a surprise call from an old high school theatre buddy and had a lovely little chat. It was great to hear about all the stuff he is doing out in L.A. When the work isn't coming to him, he is making it for himself. You go!

Watching the Oscars (alone in my hotel room, NOT at a hip party in L.A...just to clear that up) made me a little sentimental...ok really sentimental. There seemed to be so many "firsts", which I think is just awesome. And I have to say I am sort of glad the "biggest block buster in history" didn't win best picture. AND the director was a LADY. And Sandra Bullock made me cry. As did the guy (I forget what he won for) who told all the kids out there to create even if they don't have the support. It made me proud to be part of an arts culture that is (or should be) basically after the same thing. I am part of a little subset of a larger community that exists to create, and challenge and entertain, and push buttons. Those little moments humanize Hollywood...it was refreshing.

Now I am just watching E! footage of the after parties. In my holey jeans and my glasses with only one ear stem. I feel so glamorous. Honestly...after too many glamorous nights in Vegas, its a nice change of pace. Riiiiiiight..... ;)

Another day off tomorrow...ah the actor's life is SO hard!

XO.